I have always known that being crunchy comes with a cost. As with any lifestyle change, there will always be those who do not understand and even those who scorn.
There was one group of people that I expected to be better then the scorners; the natural parents themselves.
I have found that generally, crunchy people are pretty understanding. Most of us realize that being crunchy, like all things, is a journey. We also understand that nobody, NOBODY is 100% crunchy. However, some crunchies do not seem to either know this or at very least remember it.
I have come across a few places in which natural minded people have criticized, condemned, and insulted other fellow crunchies simply because they were practicing something that perhaps is not generally in the crunchy definition.
You know those hot topics: circumcision, spanking, crying it out, vaccinations, formula feeding, cow’s milk, hospital births, and so on. Yes they might not be the definition of crunchy but guess what? That does not necessarily make them wrong for every single person. Even if it was 100% wrong, I see no reason why you would need to condemning the person who does do these things. Unless it’s life or death, you have no reason to step in and insult someone for doing something you disagree with.
Now there is a time and a place for debates. I’m not saying crunchy people should never have a nice civil debate, which includes both sides for a hot topic. Debates are good and they are a way in which many of us have learned about things we would have never known about. However, they must be done nicely with no condemnation, name calling, suggestions of abuse, and so on. Being a bully is not going to convince anyone of anything and it’s only going to get other’s opinions of you lowered.
However, I would hope we all know the difference between when someone is sharing something they learned or love and when someone is asking for advice. If someone is simply sharing that they have benefited from this or that then they are obviously not asking for your criticism. Nobody likes unsolicited advice and crunchies should know this better then most! How many times have you tried to share with your non-crunchy friends about some amazing new crunchy thing you learned, only to hear debate and scorn. All you wanted to do was share about it because you love it and found it worked for you and yet you get told you’re wrong. Nobody wants that from a non-crunchy but think about the extra heaping of hurt when it comes from a fellow crunchy!
We generally strive to make a point of not judging others who are in the non-crunchy world. I know I don’t go looking down my nose at other parents who do something that I don’t! So why would we judge those who are in the same group as us?
Come on crunchies, we are better than that! We face so much opposition as it is, don’t you think it’s about time that we get off our high horse and be understanding that we are not all in the same place in our journey, we are not all in the same opinion, we can do things differently from each other and yet all still possibly be doing what is right for our families? Be better than those who scorn and hurt us every day for not understanding our crunchy ways and instead understand and respect fellow natural parents.